I am living in a dream world. I am twenty-one, soon to be twenty-two and I have just finished four years of university that will enable me to be part of a worthwhile, rewarding, and flexible profession. My new employer is thrilled to have me as an employee. We have not yet had a conversation in which she has not commented on my apparent strengths or what I seem to be able to offer to the organization. This comes as a surprise to me only because I was never really required to complete a real interview. I have the most intelligent, handsome, spiritually and socially passionate husband to be, who is more perfect for me than I could have imagined in all my nine-year old fairy-tale stories combined. He makes me laugh, and he knows how to cook. He is a musician. He loves children. He is six foot two. I can probably count on my fingers the number of days in the past four years when I have gone to bed without having heard or read that I am loved. I have known, for the entirety of my life, that I have grandparents who have prayed and continue to pray for me and all of their grandchildren every single day...year upon year...because they know it accomplishes miracles. I have parents and parents-in-law-to-be who will proudly follow in that tradition. I am the steward of an amazing legacy...and I have grown up from day one in that knowledge. My best friend, with whom were shared many sleepless giggly nights since the age of twelve, is still my best friend, despite all of the sentimental crap (see upper section on wonderful husband-to-be) and complaining I've put her through. She is going to be my maid of honour. Yizhen, my kindred spirit from across the world who pushed me to study and to laugh more times than I can remember, without whom I could never have become the nurse I am today, is also going to be in my wedding party. I cannot begin to sum up all the people in my life and how they have blessed me in countless ways. My nursing buddies (two very particular ones) who kept me from going insane and developing stress ulcers...my extremely amazing family, which would take miles of paper to describe even remotely in full....my extended family through all the many churches and other ministry type things i've done/attended over the years...taking care of me just as any brother or sister would. I have three (four if you count the one who is still MIB or "missing in belly") wonderful and adorable neice(s)/nephews....hopeful for that second neice, haha....it is difficult to explain how much I love those kids. I have lots of stuffed animals...they watch over my room for me when I am gone out. I have food in my stomach. I have clothing on my back. I have a warm and soothing shower every day. I have two working legs and two matching arms... I can smell lilacs and see sunsets. I am blessed. And all of this without even touching on the greatest blessing of all: The love of my heavenly Father, the sharing in Christ's death and resurrection and partaking of incomprehensible peace and hope...the loving guidance of the Holy Spirit throughout my entire blessed life. The mercy of God made so plentiful...the times when it has been poured out of me. And the precious tears I have shed so many times for so many hurts, because my Lord has taught me how to love. The forgiveness of my sins...and joy everlasting. The truth that rings out with every hymn...with every verse of scripture read...and with every creed ever chanted...is alive in the beloved Son of God...Jesus Christ, who I am humbled to know. What is this dream world to which I have become accustomed? The essence of reality in my life has always been dream-like. I do not make these lists as a form of boasting...heaven forbid that (forgive the old-fashioned term)...nor do I make it to remind myself not to be depressed or complaining, though I could certainly benefit from that from time to time. I don't really know why I am writing this. I just can't help thinking about this fairy-tale-ish life I live every day. Why has it been given to me? What the heck am I supposed to do with it? Dan and I were talking in the car on the way home to my beloved Sarnia, when I happened upon something I had forgotten for a long while. Hope. Perhaps it is time for all of us to realize that hope is not found in a life full of blessings and fairy tale endings. Hope is found in hearts broken for hurting people...in senseless acts of kindness that don't seem to make any conceivable difference....and in hearing little children say "Jesus loves me." Hope is hiding inside the jumbled rambles of someone left lonely...who is finally allowed to just talk. You can find it in a song, but only when you sing it with someone else...or you could discover it in a sunset, provided you are able to share the joy of it. Hope is truly found in Christ alone. If I could come up with one reason for my many blessings, it might just be to show me that I still need Him...and I still need to give Him away. Job had it all taken away and still praised. I only hope I can learn to keep giving, despite all that I have received. Jesus said it is difficult for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven...but he also said that all things are possible with God. Dan was reminding me: we are members of His kingdom now...here...so I have no excuses...I am set on hoping for the miraculous and the holy. Let us see how the fairy tale unfolds. | 
